The last couple of weeks have been going really well Alhamdulillah. My job is winding down to a close for the summer and my husband and I have some pretty awesome plans for the summer holidays! So far we've decided on spending a week in Vancouver, a weekend in Ottawa and the rest of the time in good ol' T. dot... a place that was my home for many years. On my way to Canada, I should be stopping at my parents place in Oman and spending 2 weeks with them- for some R & R and just to get a break from it all. I guess I'm the type of person who loves a change! Alhamdulillah my husband and I have that in common :).
My business plans have been temporarily suspended due to lack of capital, so until I save up enough cash to invest in it completely, I will not be doing much in that regard. I could technically ask my husband for the cash but if anything goes wrong, I don't think I would forgive myself.
In the meantime, I'm expanding my collection of unique and stylish khaleeji abayas and will eventually showcase them, Inshallah.
So getting back to the title at hand, what is the best advice to give to someone suffering in an abusive relationship? Without revealing too much, I would just like to say that this person is someone very close to my heart (not myself alhamdulillah!). I have known this person for a very long time, and witnessed her marriage and subsequent problems. I didn't know about the problems until recently and it seems as if the abuse is escalating (isn't that what always happens?)
How do you tell someone to end their marriage? How involved can a person be, in a situation that's clearly personal and sensitive in nature. A lot of people in this situation would consider the best advice as being: patience, make dua to Allah (swt) for guidance, be forgiving, think about your offspring and don't end the relationship. They have a lot of proof to back up such statements, including text from the Quran and Sunnah, which is fine, however, where does one draw the line between patience, tolerance and forgiveness, and ending a relationship which is detrimental to some one's mental, physical and emotional well being. Is it enough to stay in such a relationship due to lack of financial capabilities and for their child's sake?
Allah (swt) says in the Holy Quran:
A divorce is only permissible twice: after that, the parties should either hold together on equitable terms, or separate with kindness. (Surah Baqarah, Ayah 229)
What if they don't hold together on equitable terms, yet the husband is unwilling to release his wife?
Maybe I'm overstepping the line. but then again, maybe I can be the sound of reason, and not emotion? There are times when I lay awake at night, and wonder how she's doing, just because I fear for her health and safety. Am I wrong to voice my opinion (to leave) or should I stick to platitudes and tell her to be patient and forgiving etc?
I'm totally confused at the moment...